Life and Perspectives · October 16, 2026

I used to think coaching was nonsense.

To be honest, for a long time I thought all of it was nonsense. Coaching, personal growth, books with exercises you fill in. I run a business. I figured whatever you need to know, you learn by doing, and the rest is touchy-feely stuff for people with too much time on their hands.

Then at some point I noticed how much I was learning as an adult that I should have learned long ago. Things nobody taught me as a kid. Why, under pressure, my first instinct is always to do everything myself. Where my limits are before I cross them, not after. How I tick when things get tight.

You don’t pick that up on the side. I’ve put time and money into understanding it, and I’d do it again. These days I even have workbooks made that are tailored entirely to me. Not a generic self-help book, but questions that go straight to the places where I get stuck.

That said, I don’t believe everything that sounds convincing. Not every model has to be proven to raise a good question. But I do tell the difference between a helpful interpretation and a fact. Inspiration is valuable. Thinking for yourself is still mandatory.

And then came the question I couldn’t shake: Why do we only start with this at forty?

Because it starts early. Kids who think a lot and feel a lot know very well that something is going on inside them. They just often don’t have the words for it yet. That’s exactly why ELSEWISE exists.

The first book there is called “Klar im Kopf, laut im Gefühl” (roughly: Clear Head, Loud Feelings). It’s a workbook for kids ages 10 to 14, five weeks long, built around five questions: Who am I? How do I feel? What do I need? Who helps me? What can I do? It has pages like “What’s underneath my anger?”, “Why I sometimes explode in the evening” and “Saying no, honestly and clearly.” And exercises that parents and kids do together. The first page says: You are not too much. You are enough.

There’s also the feelings journal KOPF VOLL (roughly: Head Full). For the days when you don’t know where to start. You pick whichever page fits right now, and if nothing comes to mind for a question, “No idea” counts as an answer too.

A lot of what I’m now paying good money to learn in coaching would have come in handy at twelve. With ELSEWISE, I want the young ones to get it sooner. Without the wagging finger. And without having to turn forty first.

More at elsewise.online.

Daria Helck